In my life, I love them all

May Day this weekend...such a mix of emotions, combined with memories. First was my somewhat nervewracking drive to Bryn Mawr, the first time I'd been on the highway since I got my license, and the first time I was doing so by myself. But I made it without incident, and the drive home didn't make me nervous at all. So I'm justifiably proud of myself for getting over my "chicken driver" tendency (some my own, some imparted to my by my mother--who else?). Walking onto campus was sort of surreal, because it was at once intimately familiar, and yet I didn't have the sense of being there yesterday. It didn't make me feel older, like visiting high school does...just...different, somehow. Probably because I grew in more significant ways than I have since, having yet to really be on my own.

And then the acapella concert. Lavender's Blue was awesome, and I think I will have to send Alex the arrangements of some of our Deceptive Cadence songs, just so we can have some DC legacy on campus. Night Owls was fun, as always...but not as good as when Rachel was in it. And then back to Philly with Rachel and Becky to hang out and watch Rachel stay up till all hours to make her May Day outfit--just like every other year. ;)

Saturday could have been really boring, sitting around the apartment while Becky engineered her surprise, but it was actually very relaxing. There was no pressure on me, nothing I had to do, I could just sit around and read, and think about what I'm planning to do and what my life is, and watch some Firefly...

And then to BMC on Sunday for Grand May Day, replete with Mummers and Fire-eaters and band after band and Greek Plays and Drunken Shakespeare... I'm proud for not getting sunburnt, though the Special Olympics tomorrow may change that. It was nice that dinner was served where lunch is so we didn't have to move off the Green, not so nice that the line was right next to our blanket. Being at the step sing was nice, since I missed it last year. I got to hear the Frosh and Sophomore songs, and sing with the alumni contingent, and sing goodnight to the seniors. But that...ritual of leaving brought into sharp focus my imminent departure for Virginia and grad school. This is the first time I'm really going to be apart from my friends, be alone. Even JYA when we were in different countries felt like a pit stop on the way to meet up again. But this...again, I am going away on my own, while everyone else will be together in the same city. I know it's my choice, but it still feels like I'm losing out. And in the back of my mind is, what if I stay there, in Virginia? What if everyone else stays up in Boston? It's so far away... I felt sad for my mother when I realized how she doesn't get to see the friends that she doesn't work with very often. Once or twice a year at most. So maybe not getting to see your friends very much is part of growing up, but I don't like it. I became my true self around these people, and to some extent I feel like I can't be that person if they aren't around. It just wouldn't feel safe... but I guess this coming year is not about safety, it's about trying something I think is a good step for me, something I think I want to do. I hope it works out.

Currently reading: Unicorn's Blood, by Patricia Finney. The sequal to Firedrake's Eye, the supernatural narrator of this book is the Virgin Mary, which I can't decide if I'm pleased or annoyed about. I'll have to keep reading...

Just finished reading: The Leper's Bell, by Peter Tremayne. Who is in fact Peter Berresford Ellis, who I think I read when I was in Ireland studying Celtic Civilization. A historical mystery, which I'm always leery of because of the sometimes obvious anachronisms in fact or in philosophy, this one seemed true to what I know of that time. And they solved the crime through comparing witness accounts and investigating discrepencies, so I appreciated that. I'd look at the rest of the books, since apparently it's quite a series with a society and everything.

The Body of Christopher Creed, by Carol Plum-Ucci. Something I picked off of Becky's shelf on Saturday after I finished rereading A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Another mystery of sorts, of a high school boy's attempt to understand the disappearance of one of his strange classmates. Now that I'm planning to go into high school English, I pay a lot more attention to literature for that age group. This one was very interesting, because it dealt a lot with honesty, and the personas put on to fit with a certain crowd in school, and the effects of parents' lives on their children. Some of the pacing felt a little abrupt, but I often find that in YA books (because I'm so used to huge novels or series that go at a snail's pace!). I'd like to read other books by this author...maybe I will in Adolescent Lit.


Total books read this month: 11
Total books read this year: 37