Is anybody there? Does anybody care?

Does anybody see what I see?

My friend Lynn remarked today that Fall Break is very strategically scheduled, because we're all about to break down. I think she's right.

I've just reached the point where I'm so tired. Tired of the constant work. Tired of being in situations where I feel unsure and intimidated. Tired of being paranoid about how other people are seeing me. But most of all I'm tired of feeling like I always need to be aware of how I'm presenting myself, of not being sure even of my friends. I miss being around people who really know me, who I can completely relax with, who don't expect anything of me. People who I know it's ok to lean on when we watch TV. People who know what I like to eat, what music I like. What will make me laugh. I guess I want to relax in company, instead of only being able to relax when I'm alone. I want someone to talk to about heart-things, soul-things...important things, real or imaginary. Or maybe just someone who will sing along to 1776 with me from a rooftop at night.