Answers for Becky

1. What is one dream/goal/vision of the future that you have almost always had, no matter how much it has been altered? Anything, no matter how big or small, that you feel most certain about as a desire for your life? If you want, you can describe the ways it has changed, as well as what has stayed the same about it. Also, is there anything you once wanted that now seems rather alien to you? Or at least unlikely? If you could suddenly have that old thing, would you still want it? Wow, that's like 10 questions in one. More bang for your buck!

This is hard because I don't usually think toward the future, and especially so when I was young. I'm very nostalgic or worrying about now or daydreaming (of fictional situations), but I never really thought very explicitly about the future until...high school, really. (Remember that, Rachel? When you were going to live at home and commute to college because you couldn't imagine being that far away from your mother?) Probably because I have a very hard time imagining anything plausibly until I know enough to really picture it. But I guess the closest I can come to a desire for my life I have always had is the general theme of all my daydreams: I always wanted to have some talent or ability that would make everyone acknowlege me, appreciate me, find me useful and valuable. When I was little it was always along the lines of the paranormal, in the fashion of Matilda, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, and the X-Men. And now...well, I felt it most this summer when I was hanging around all you incredibly talented Uncut Pages people, and even Rachel (my theater groupie buddy) was in the show; I wanted to be a great actor, to be acknowledged and respected by people I think are wonderful and talented. So I guess that desire is still very much alive.

Something I once wanted that seems alien to me...well, I also used to daydream about overcoming some awful injury from an accident or some disability, like those melodramatic books about teen girls with cancer. Now that I've seen people that's happened to, I'm no longer quite that morbid. And no, I'd not like to have to suffer just to overcome it. So I guess I'm not crazy after all.


2. If you could have one mythical creature as a pet/companion, what would you choose, and why? What do you imagine doing with it? Where did you first hear about said class of creatures?

Well, the first thing that came to mind was a Sphinx, but I think that they are usually too solemn to be much fun. So I think I would choose a gryphon, because you could fly on/with them, and because feathers are fun. I would...go places with it, I guess, and play games (of catching fish or something), and run my fingers through its feathers. I believe I first heard of these creatures during our unit on mythology in gifted class in elementary school, which we ironically enough called Pegasus. But I'm also fond of the gryphons in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar books. It would be fun to have one that could talk back at me and do magic.


3. If you could choose to remember everything about being born, would you? What do you think it would be like? Is there some other very early experience that you would prefer to remember?

I don't know. My mom said I was the easiest to give birth to out of all my siblings, so I guess it wouldn't be too bad because it didn't take that long. But it could also be fairly traumatic, like having to get out of bed on a really cold morning. I think what I would like to remember is what I thought when I first saw my parents, and my older brother; what they meant to me, how I understood them.


4. If you were given one year to study anything in the world, with all the resources necessary to do so, what would you pick and why? It doesn't have to be anything you have previous training in, though of course it can be.

I would love to go back to Ireland and really learn Gaelic, just travel around the country and read it and hear the music and look at the old writings. I wonder what Cuchullain's warp-spasm is like in the original text. ;) I'd like to learn it because it's a really beautiful language, and when I was there on my cultural weekend we heard a Gaelic poet speak and she said that she can't write poetry in English, so I'd like to be able to read her work in the original.

I also have fantasies of going back and indulging in my childhood interests of paleontology and Egyptian archaeology, but I don't know if I would enjoy that as much now that I know how much work it actually is.


5. So, in the next month or so, you meet a wonderful, interesting, handsome, and intelligent man, and start to date him. The relationship develops very quickly, and your connection is stronger than you would have thought possible for such a short time. As you make your plans for next year, he reveals to you that he is about to embark on a journey to... Africa, maybe, for humanitarian work, or Antarctica to study the environment, or maybe Siberia to do some work on the railroad. In any case, it is pertinent to a long-standing dream of his, for motives that you respect, but it is not something you personally have any desire to do, although it does sound like an interesting adventure. (Disregard the examples if you have a desire to do them.) And it is very far away, in a completely foreign situation. You see a strong possibility for a long term future with this man, but in other circumstances, you would probably continue dating him for a bit longer before making a firm commitment. But... he asks you to go with him. Would you? Why or why not? What if he asked you to marry him, and go as his wife? Would that make you more or less likely to go? What would keep you here, if you wouldn't go? What if you were pregnant with his child? Are there any places you absolutely would not ever go with him, no matter what the circumstances were?

I think I would have a very hard time refusing, but I'd like to think that I'd hold true to my instincts of what I want to do with my own life to say that that's not what I want to do right now. I think I would offer to visit, or to come for a short time to help him settle in or something, but I think that that visit would help confirm that this is not where I want to be. I would try to keep up the relationship via mail or email or whatever, and I think I would like that as a way to figure out if we really are meant to be together.

If he wanted to marry me...that would be harder. I would probably tell him that I'd want more time until I made a decision like that, and see if there was any way to postpone his trip; but if he couldn't do that, I'd be more likely to want to go with him. I think the prospect of leaving all my friends and family behind, as well as my own plans for the future would keep me here if I didn't go, along with a reluctance to commit to the rest of my life with this man so soon. But considering this would be the first man to even be interested in me, I think I would find it very hard to essentially give him up (though of course I would attempt to keep up the relationship if he didn't dump me for not wanting to come with him.)

I'd like to think I'd never end up pregnant outside of marriage, but if I were, I think I would use that as a bargaining chip to try and get him to stay. Wow, I guess that sounds awful; but I wouldn't want to try and raise a kid under such unusual circumstances. And if he left anyway...I guess I'd be more likely to put the child up for adoption or something. I don't know.

I don't know if there are any places I absolutely would not go, no matter the circumstances. Perhaps those with spiders bigger than my hand. And/or an overabundance of insects in the place I would have to live. But I don't think I'd ever go with this man if he were doing missionary work, because I get leery about the ethics of converting people.


Wow, Becky. That was a lot. Hope you enjoy reading it all!